you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
