I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You ruined the universe
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
