What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i drank out of a bidet.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
