i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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