I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
