you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She needs sedatives and a leash
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
