He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
