You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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