I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
