Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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