the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize