I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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