thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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