thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
