i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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