Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
