did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
