Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Your dad touched me again.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
