she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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