I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
