my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
