i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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