There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
