That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
