dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
