if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
