Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
