You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
