we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize