And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
