My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
