Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize