Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
