There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize