We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
