I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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