You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
