Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
A+ Viking dick
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
