Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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