He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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