He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
