the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize