Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
