i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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