I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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