Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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