this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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