you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i think i just lost a toe
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
my penis made a compromise with my morals
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
