Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
