That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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