I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
