Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
