How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
