I'm drive I can fine osifer
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
