I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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