I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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