It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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