none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
