Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize