You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize