So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
