Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
