I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
